Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Just weeks following what turned out to be a very painful day (closer to a week or more actually) of remembrance, and feeling all the pain brand new on Riley's EDD, we have learned that we have something to hope for. Despite our long journey to conceive Riley, we conceived fairly quickly. Now all we can do is wait and hope that this pregnancy ends in a healthy, screaming baby.

Its scary, but an exciting time as well. While I want to enter this pregnancy with all the hope and dreams I did with my first two, I look at this pregnancy with tainted eyes. I can't see this pregnancy the same way I saw my other 2. I know only too well how wrong things can go, so we are treading lightly. Yesterday we went for blood work and my husband said to my 3 year old "Do you want an baby bubby or a baby sissy?" I had to stop him right there. I can't let myself things about that right now and I can't let my 3 year old get dragged into what could end up being another loss. I am taking one day at a time. Always hoping that things will work out, but at the same time knowing there is a real chance things could go horribly wrong again. I am hoping the my blood work result may ease some of my fears, for the moment at least. My HPT this morning is lighter than yesterday's so right now I am a basket-case with worry. I will try to keep this updated for anybody who is reading it.

Please keep this baby in your thoughts and prayers.